Recently, I have become hyper aware of something that was pretty deep in my subconscious that my health journey has now exposed, completely challenged and, as of this post, has overcome.
Now, it is worth noting that I am not a psychologist, so most of what I’m gonna share is from a non-clinical place of authenticity. It’s personal and I’m definitely not asking or looking for feedback or analysis. This is just an open share from my heart, because I think we could all benefit from being more authentic with our loved one’s and not hiding things that could be impacting us in negative ways.
Here goes:
From the age of four, I have had one very reliable superpower, if you will. It’s that I visualize the shit out of my dreams and then I stop at nothing to make them a reality. If I were to self assess and give myself a rating between one and ten as a Manifestor, I would give myself an honest 11.
Ok, bravado aside, I just wanted to set the proper tone here for what I’m about to reveal next.
I’ve been slaying my dreams since the age of four, so one would think that I have a shit ton of dreams for the next 20 years of my life already visualized and ready to be conquered right? Wrong!
The truth is that I only have two visualized dreams left (maybe think of it as bucket list items) for next six years of my life. I’m 54, so this would take me to the edge of 60. For some unknown reason to me, my superpower was drawing a complete blank after that age as if that age is kryptonite to me . 
I misunderstood this to think that perhaps I should wrap up my career as an entrepreneur (aka Dreamer, or more simply put - being a Doer) two years from now by putting a bow on a successful 30 year run as an entrepreneur.  I even talked myself into how neat and clean this was! 
What came next was the idea to go out on top?! That’s my competitive side coming out. I convinced myself that the way to do this is to have tremendous exits with my both Hawaii real estate syndications. Since so many of you, and my most loyal friends within my network, have invested in either of the two properties, I reckoned that it would be a tremendous inspirational journey to honor all of you who supported me by writing huge return on investment checks,  before I officially hang it up. I would then ride off into my sunset years. 
I even told myself that Kobe Bryant could be my role model. Remember when he announced that he would only play one more season and he had an epic farewell tour that culminated in him scoring 80 points in his last NBA game. That shit resonated with me big time! Go out on top!  That’s what I’m gonna do! A fitting in into my entrepreneurial journey!
I also convinced myself that it would be a good idea to get started on learning how to be better at being than doing. I started my presence practice a couple of years ago because I began to see that eventually all of us get to a point where we can no longer do as much anymore, so it woukd be wise to prepare by getting more comfortable with just being. Watching my dad retire at age 84 and transition so well into his presence really opened my eyes to how important this will become so I figured I better start preparing for this myself.
However, is it possible that my subconscious, due to my very poor over the last few decades, was doubtful that I would live past 60? Thus, it was sending out thoughts that I better start my sunset years sooner in my mid 50s and complete all my visualizations before I reach that their end?
Now, I’ve heard about people that have morbid fears of when they’re going to die. I can’t say with a straight face that I’ve ever had a single conscious thought in this direction. However, we all know that subconsciously we can have negative fear based thoughts and feelings that have the ability to hold us back. 
So, my analysis is that I had somehow convinced myself subconsciously that due to my poor health the last three decades, that I only had six good years left. This is why I put out the post awhile back that I was preparing to wrap up my two syndications in Hawaii. I announced that I would temporarily move to LA to fulfill a visualization I had to work at an Olympics (the next one is in LA in 2028 ). After that pit stop, I would move to Italy to decompress from 30 years of entrepreneurism to work on my abilities to just be, while doing nothing at all.
I’m sure this all sounded on brand to you guys. You probably even said yo yourselves something like, “So typical of Eric, already has his future all planned out. I doubt the ‘not doing stuff thing’ is gonna work out for him, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he has two great exits on his Hawaii real estate projects, then gets a job at the LA Olympics and then moves to Italy! Exactly as he predicts!”
What I definitely did not reveal in that post though, was that after these two visualizations, I had nothing visualized after that. Literally a black hole in my brain as to what I might like to have happen next! Nothing! Nada! Zilch!
Until I finally put my health first and got healthy this past year…..
Now, I’m not only starting to reimagine the next six years that I had predetermined, but I am beginning to visualize decades to come cause I now believe with proper health and God’s will, they are far more likely now and they can be wonderful too.
Isn’t this profound? Prioritizing my health has single-handedly defeated a pretty fucked up outlook that has been manifesting itself in my subconscious unchecked for years and years. It has now been defeated via my health transformation. I now suddenly feel enthusiastic and inspired to dust off, and put back on, my Dreamer shirt!
Best of all, I can continue to develop my presence practice regardless of how much doing I choose to take on before I do perish!
That’s my share!  I don’t know if you’ve ever thought about how much time left you have left on this earth, but it sure has been a revealing journey for me.

