My brother Charley Lochtefeld wrote and posted this beautiful essay this morning. It is such inspired writing and insight that I felt compelled to share it with you all. Enjoy.
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(This short essay is dedicated to my family, my friends and the late John Martyn).
I was young, I saw the world from a distance, and I wanted to go there.
I was blessed to be able to make choices that others couldn’t make. And I was strong enough to take chances that others couldn’t take.
I hopped from Boulder to Boulder with abandon. Fearless.
Powered by momentum, I wiggled thru the world, slipping, sliding, and I felt the joy of living on solid air.
Now, older, I feel much closer to the ground, slower on my feet. I’m not able to leap from boulder to boulder. I know I will just end up in the crevices, alone and broken. I move through the Earth in a different way, helping others, elders and youngsters, trying to stay true to the promises I made to myself and to those I love.
That which once annoyed me, I find oddly endearing.
Some hate change, they hate the new, they want to be in the front of the line forever, in charge, acknowledged. They want things to stay put so they can stand on them. Claim them.
I’m not that person.
I want change. I want to try new things. I want to see the eyes of a young person who is ready to jump from boulder without a care.
Who is willing to Live, on solid air.
I know now that there are things you can hold in your hands and there are things you can hold in your heart and they’re not the same. I’ve seen burdens become blessings and I’ve seen blessings become burdens. I have found my way in the dark and I have lost my way in the light. I have fought, and I have yielded to equal results.
I have learned to negotiate.
Your gain is not my loss and I want you to do well. I will enjoy looking up at you on your pedestal having your moment. And I will enjoy when you come back down and sit by my side. On a bench maybe or a rock watching, the faces from all of the places we belong.
My magic has weakened but my medicine is strong. I can see for Miles and Miles. I have loved strangers and I have buried friends. I’ve been there, and I’ve been here.
Someday, soon I will sit, like my father, all day long, hearing the birds like it’s the first time. Watching the breeze move the trees, the planes in the sky going places, enjoying a good meal, a visit from a loved one. The simple passing of time while watching the reels of my mind, listening to the echo of words and laughter, holding hands with ghost.
Living on solid air.
