I am feeling a bit spicey this morning. At about 5 am I heard my air conditioner turn off in my bedroom. Not fully understanding what happened, I snoozed another hour or so before I woke up at my normal 6:11 am!
Spoiler Alert - my electricity turned off!
Half asleep, and not fully appreciating the predicament, I proceeded with my normal morning routine.
I stumbled to the espresso machine in my bathroom. Yes, I keep an espresso machine in my bedroom. If you’ve ever visited me in Hawaii - you know this applies to every bedroom on the property! It’s possible I’m an addict!
I took out a beautiful purple Level 8 intensity Nespresso pod (my fav), dropped it in the magical device and hit the fulfilling button that never lets me down and loves me soooo much…
Oh crap! No power means no coffee!
Ok, I can handle this. At least the toilet will work. Still groggy as hell, I sit down for my morning ritual number two. Sucess! This day is looking up! Just need to flush……
Oh crap, this property has a well. In order to pump water to the house and hotel rooms, the well requires electricity.
Let me just lower the toilet lid, open the window and declare this room a disaster zone until further notice. Moving on….
Not defeated, I stumble back to my waiting bed and proceed with morning ritual number three. Let’s see what’s going on in the world? I open my iPad to begin reading the news, saving social media for dessert!
Oh crap, in order to consume the news my iPad requires the Internet and my router requires electricity. No news!
Not to be defeated, I grab my smart phone. Surely, Facebook will work via local cell towers. I open the app successfully and begin to scroll….
Oh crap, what is this? Facebook can only show me about four or five previously stored posts. Even Facebook requires electricity on this remote property!@&$!
At this point, I’m determined as hell not to let this day continue its downward spiral. I walk into my closet with purpose to get dressed. Due to its dungeon like darkness I hit the light switch on the wall so I can see my clothes….
Oh crap, I’m really not fully comprehending this situation.
I fumble around in the dark putting on whatever clothes feel right to the touch. When I re-emerge I literally look like an American flag. Bright red shirt, blue shorts white socks and red shoes. My black 49ers hat really throws off my patriotic fashion statement but oh well, this is how I’m gonna roll today!
Determined to make a successful coffee run, I get in my car, still half asleep, I begin the drive to the main gate trying not to make too much noise as I pass Chef Joseph’s off the grid home!
As I drive by his yurts, it dawns on me that he likely has electricity. He has a nifty solar contraption that captures and stores energy from the sun the day before!
I briefly consider turning around to go get one of the dozen espresso machines I have in my home or in the hotel, so I can plug into his off the grid power source! I look at my watch…..
Oh crap, it’s 6:25 am! I can’t wake the poor guy up. He’s gonna think I’ve lost my damn mind!
I drive right past, mentally pat myself on the back for being so considerate. As I pull up to the main gate, and only exit on the property, I reach up to press the gate remote……
Oh crap!
One of those days…..maybe I’ll have Tequilla instead!
