Last weekend I was in Napa Valley with my parents celebrating Mother’s Day. Our hotel was offering something kinda new and cool. They had a fleet of luxury cars you could choose from to go wine tasting for up to four hours. I’m not talking about some hotel staffer driving us. I’m talking, “Here’s the keys - have fun!”
As I drove away in a brand new shiny Mercedes, my Soul chose to ignore my Ego saying “Is this safe? Why would a hotel hand out keys to $150k cars in a region where the only thing to do is stop every twenty minutes to drink alcohol?”
Remembering that I no longer drink wine and that I was out for an adventure with my 90 something parents, I chose to think about another topic. You know what my always talking Ego decided to serve up?
“Am I retired?”
This thought actually managed to command my attention. The Ego is exceptional at this one thing. So, for the next twenty minutes as I drove through wine country, I ignored the beautiful scenery to have a debate with myself (thanks for letting me down Presence Practice - wtf coach Patrick Combs???🙈🤣🙏🙈). The question being, am I retired?
I even brought my parents in on the discussion. I asked them if they thought I was retired? My Dad very shrudely asked, “Who pays your salary?”
My answer suprised me.
I said, well, nobody does Dad. I haven’t collected a paycheck since December of 2019, my last day of work at the Fox Theater.
My Dad, pushing against the boundaries of moderate Dimentia, causing him a lack of any short-term memory, looked at me confused and innocently asked, “Then, how do you pay for stuff?”
If he could have remembered the beautiful day we had just before, he may have added, “like the 5-Star hotel you are putting us up at, the Michelin Restaurant we crushed last night and all the Clase Azul Tequilla drinks you had with your mother at Happy Hour?”
My response kinda suprised me even more. I said, I don’t need a salary Dad!
“Why not?” My Dad says incredulously.
I said the words despite feeling really uncomfortable saying them (even to my loving parents). Well, cause I’m wealthy Dad. I made a lot of money working really hard the last 30 years!
He looked at me like he just heard something he never heard before. Keep in mind, my Dad is old school. Worked till he was 85 driving himself an hour to work 9 to 5 Monday thru Friday. And, he would have worked into his 90’s if his heart didn’t have other ideas. He was very successful. Just never dawned on him to actually retire, till he had to.
My mom, in her own right, worked 35 years as an athletic director while raising five kids. She jumped into the conversation with “But you work a lot honey! You operate multiple properties, you mentor people, you write - in fact, you’re almost always on the phone helping people put out fires. You work very hard. I’m so proud of you!”
Gotta love my Mom’s never ending support. My Dad, on the other hand, was still trying to figure out what the hell is going on here! He says, “You don’t have a job?”
A big hearty laugh arose from deep inside my being, quickly followed by my Ego loudly intergecting with a complete shit show of thoughts:
Oh crap, maybe I am retired. But it doesn’t feel like I’m retired. Oh shit, am I old? Fuck, do I need to get a job? How much money do I have? Is it enough? What if I live to be as old as my Dad? Will I be able to go wine tasting when I’m 92? Oh shit, I need to get in better shape or I’ll never live to be 92! Maybe I should be a fitness trainer!
Then my Soul gently rose it’s hand to speak.
“Be grateful that you no longer have to work at one specific job, and instead have financial and time freedom to do the things that bring you joy - like inspiring people through your writing, mentoring, hosting transformative retreats, investing, and generously sharing your time and treasure with the people you love the most.”
Phew, for about twenty minutes there my Ego almost had me convinced that I needed to wake up from this dream life my Soul lead me to create, to get a job that would satisfy my Ego!
P.S. - this might be the first inspirational post I’ve written that satisfies both my Ego and my Soul. My Ego cause it thinks I’m bragging and it approves of all bragging. My Soul because it knows otherwise! 👀
