Part 3 of 3: The Only Part That Matters
My wife and I decided to rent the Waterfalling Estate for my birthday in October. One month into escrow, we did not like the interest rates we were seeing so we wanted to kick the tires and gain clarity.
The Ego wants two things. It wants to be right and it wants you to feel superior to others. It always speaks first, and most of all, it wants you to follow its lead.
The Soul, on the other hand, speaks very softly. In order to hear it over the Ego’s constant blabber and insatiable need to speak first, you must acquire some tools to assist in quieting the Ego.
Fortunately, I had a year of coaching from my best friend Patrick Combs, a master at presence. He taught me enough of these tools to quiet my Ego and give myself a chance to hear my Soul.
You see, we fall into patterns and habits developed over time, until they become ingrained. Once they become firmly fixed, they are difficult to change. They become our default setting. They can serve us positively or negatively.
My default setting goes like this. I discover something I desire. I visualize attainment. I find the courage to go for it. I strategize ways to gain access to give me a shot. I step into a healthy obsession. I grind my way forward, regardless of the challenges and pitfalls. I achieve my desire. I celebrate the win. This has been my pattern since childhood. It’s what I know. Even my Ego supports it.
For others, their primary pattern might be the opposite. They see something they desire. They start to have limiting beliefs that they are unworthy or incapable of getting it. Then they allow fear to completely take over. This prevents them from taking any steps whatsoever. Their Ego contributes to this pattern by serving up unhealthy doses of anxiety (a different kind of obsession), under the false pretense of keeping them safe.
You may have just read my primary pattern in comparison to this alternative and thought to yourself, “well, considering the alternative, that’s a pretty good pattern. Sounds like an escalator that only goes one way - up!”
But, here is the most important lesson I learned from my year of presence practice. The Ego does not know a pathway to joy, peace or self-love. Only your Soul does. So if your Ego participates in the selection of the pattern you choose to follow, you could be going down the wrong path. You should stop and ask yourself this? Will this result in achieving my desire while also experiencing joy, peace and self love along the way?
I am not claiming that the Ego is incapable of any results that you may deem beneficial. Heck, in my lifetime, it has played a rather large role in achieving my goals and wealth building. Despite the well intentioned saying “money cannot buy happiness”, it can play a significant role in momentary happiness. Splurge for a first class seat on a long flight and you will find truth in what I am attempting to convey. If you see happiness the way I do (and by its actual definition), happiness is a state of being happy. It’s momentary, meaning it’s moment by moment.
Therefor, access to money can produce moments that create a momentary state of being happy. However, what money cannot provide is what the soul wants for us, and that is joy, peace, and self love. The saying should be, money cannot buy joy. That I can get behind wholeheartedly. I believe that this is the spirit of what people mean when they state the former. The lesson here being that happiness does not equal joy, and may or may not include peace or self love. So we must choose our longer journey’s wisely.
As my birthday party continued on, I found myself positioned in the deep end of the gigantic Waterfalling Estate pool, arms hanging over the infinity edge. As I gazed out at the epic ocean view, I could hear music and laughter in the background from my loved ones. In attendance were my parents, my wife, my dear life-long friend Chris Duggan and newer wonderful friends Ryan & Elena, my Bliss Island family and all my cherished local friends that I have made since I moved to Hawaii two years prior. While certainly in a state of happiness, something was wrong. I was not at peace.
My Soul was attempting to communicate to me. My Ego took notice. But, unlike in my past, I had new tools that were effective in quieting my Ego. This allowed me to create space to become present so I could hear what my Soul, or the Universe, wanted to say.
Then, something extraordinary happened. Three omens, if you will.
The first was an eagle. It was flying directly over me. I see a variety of birds every day in Hawaii, but never an eagle. I’m kinda into symbolism so bear with me. If an eagle appears, it bestows freedom and courage to look ahead. The eagle is symbolic of the importance of honesty and truthful principles. Summon the eagle when you are about to embark on a challenge, a massive life change or a creative endeavor. Hmmm 👀
Next, a firefly practically landed on me. It hung out hovering around me for what seemed like an eternity, but was likely just a few precious seconds. Fireflies remind us that it's the small, simple things in life that matter the most. They inspire us to take a moment to slow down, ground ourselves in the moment, and appreciate all that surrounds us. I also believe that loved ones who have passed on, visit us as Fireflies. Sometimes to warn us, or for encouragement, but always in support.
Every time I encounter a firefly I think of one person, Beth Lochtefeld. Before she was murdered, Beth was my greatest supporter not named Mom or Dad. I like to believe that she continues to be from the afterlife. Fireflies can be a sign of good fortune, love and death. But which one was Beth attempting to communicate? Was her visit to warn me, or encourage me to move forward and acquire this house?
The last omen was not so subtle. Heart palpitations. I can’t say that I have ever experienced an omen like this one. My Soul rarely uses a sledgehammer to communicate. This is more the style of my Ego. Regardless, they were hard to ignore. Even more so after just witnessing an eagle and firefly in succession five minutes before.
What do I do? Do I view these omens as ominous, or some other way? I rented the house to gain clarity. Was this the clarity I was seeking?
I detailed earlier that my default setting (my pattern) is to ascend, achieve, and succeed with determination. My Ego cracks the whip and drives me to always want more. However, my Soul may not want THIS more. It wants one thing. For me to experience the trio of joy, peace and self love. If I can achieve this through awakened doing, then great. But, it should not be at their sacrifice.
The good news is that this very long story has an ending. The bad news is that it requires an unexpected Part 4. Overtime!
My Ego definitely led the way on helping me write Parts 1 & 2 of this story. Part 3 got assists from both my Soul and my Ego. Tune in to see what happens when we allow our Soul to lead the way.
