Why do some people pursue their dreams or follow their bliss while others simply leave their chosen vessel unoccupied for years wishing they were pursuing their desires but going nowhere?
I always begin every retreat or mentor opportunity by providing clarity on what personal development actually is. From my perspective, it is two things. Helping someone get unstuck and/or helping a person perform better. I spend the lion’s share of my time inspiring people to get unstuck, so they can clear a pathway so they can move forward on their desires.
So, why is it that even when a pathway has been cleared for one’s desires to be realized, so many never hop on board their chosen boat once they return home and are left to their own devices?
I’m gonna coin a new phrase. I am naming it “Self Awareness Resistance.” A person has S.A.R. when the following occurs. One, a person does not believe in themself and they get re-stuck accepting their limiting beliefs as truth. Two, a person tells lies to themself that they will get to their dream or bliss when ready, only, for that day to never come. Three, a person is in such complete fear of their chosen dream or bliss that delusion sets in.
This last one takes further explanation as it’s a bit tricky. Delusion becomes their chosen preferred state as it feels safer than actually proceeding forward. This is when a person creates seemingly sophisticated false narratives to make their lack of commitment understandable and relatable to both themselves and others. I use the word ’delusion’ cause they have convinced themselves that everything is perfectly fine and that others don’t see their narratives for what they really are - excuses.
That’s a whole lotta tough love I just put in writing. Sounds even judgemental. If used as a weapon, it would be. However, I prefer to share this knowledge as a challenge to us all. So we can all fully understand how to be more supportive friends and family members when we see our loved one’s experiencing one of these phases.
The best thing that you can do is show support. Let this person know how talented they are at their desired dream or bliss. Shine a light on evidence of their potential for mastery. Remind them of their wins!
Tough love won’t help most people. It will just double down on their already accepted limiting beliefs about themselves. What they could use more of is borrowing your belief in them. They need consistent encouragement. Be reliable and unwavering in your support, but be persistent, as lost time is the enemy of dreams!
I wish I could convince the school system in America to teach kids tools that help them believe in themselves more. It would be curriculum that would pay dividends for a lifetime.
While I see a lack of self awareness as the number one reason people remain stuck, the glue holding them in position is ultimately, their lack of belief in themselves!
If this hits home, find a friend or family member that believes in you and open up to them about your true limiting beliefs - how you really see yourself. Expose it all! This will open up an opportunity for you to become more self aware.
Once you take this courageous first step, the work for you to focus on is to turn some of your most crippling limiting beliefs into empowering beliefs. This is how you get unstuck. From there, it’s one foot in front of another seeking to improve each day at your chosen craft, on your way to mastery. Momentum will be yours!
You got this! You just need to believe that you do!
